Thursday, February 28, 2013

Twist of Fate

Last night I innocently reach across my bedside table as we said good night.






See the missing wood on the corner?

It produced this.


Which yes, is a different color now...because it was lodged....






HERE! (Except under the skin, under the nail, I wasn't about to put it back for dramatic blogging, I am not that dedicated)




My wonderful husband jumped up and fetched me a pair tweezers. He was going to pull it out for me but I couldn't handle that, so I did it myself. That way I could pause when it really hurt.

I think I got it all. I am thankful it wasn't any more painful than it was. I am thankful it only throbbed part of the night.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Unravelling

My husband and I are in a class with many of our other church members in some form of leadership. This class is designed to teach discipleship and a closer relationship with God and also set you free of things from your past that may hinder your relationship. In one of the videos the speaker taught how we don't always turn things over to God. He used a ball of string to demonstrate. We have this messy ball of string (problems, issues) and we hand it over to God, but we keep hold of the little end, and sometimes start pulling it back towards ourselves.

Good demonstration.
However, I'd like to take it farther.
Our messy lives, our issues, our "personal problems" or even our big mountains in life could be seen as a big ugly sweater.  Sometimes we try to take the ugly thing off, but can't seem to find our way out of it. Sometimes we get it off, hand it over, but hold on to a thread from it (like the string illustration). Sometimes I think all we hand God is the end of the thread and we keep the ugliness in our hands.

Now, if we hand Him the end, and keep seeking His will, and keep seeking his way to deal with it, I believe he will unravel that sweater, and eventually have it all. It might be a long time, and have some strange things going on halfway. It may not be ideal, but at least you are letting it go, giving it up. Again, this is not God's ultimate plan for ridding you of stuff, but I have seen it work. Willingness is key.

If we manage to take it off and hand it over, but hold onto the end of the thread a few different things can happen. We could think we are set free, or even tell other people we have had breakthrough, but really, there it is, in our tight little fist. Holding onto the past,  not fully trusting. Eventually, we will start pulling it back to our selves, leaving us a big tangled mess of yarn on our hands, or worse, we knit that back into the big ugly sweater and put it back on. But it's worse now. Perhaps we don't wear it and just hide it in the closet, but there it is, still in our possession.

Ultimately, like a small child, we should throw our hands up to Papa, ask for help, and He will gently lift that sweater right over our heads and throw it away.
AAAhhhhhhh.

It takes faith and trust.
We are cynical people, in a jaded world, full of darkness and lies.
Yet, He offers us freedom and peace.

I am examining my heart to see where I hid those sweaters. It's time to let them go.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Re-Arranged

The time had come.
I simply had to address my bloglines list of blogs I like to read. So many have stopped writing, some had gone directions I didn't want to read, and my list was so disorganized.

I spent a few minutes learning how to change them up, delete, organize and proceeded. I placed those that only write occasionally near the bottom, hoping one day to see that little black number beside their name again. Those that had been quiet for over a year or I knew had stopped or moved I simply deleted. Some made me a little sad. I arranged food/cooking blogs together, inspirational, family and so on. I deleted those that don't pertain to me anymore. I had felt convicted about another one, so I got rid of it. I felt icky pressing the button, but overwhelmingly relieved and at peace once it was gone. That surprised me, but I knew at that moment it was truly the right thing to do.

If it isn't edifying, what is it doing? Even if the writer has a sense of humor, should I be reading blasphemy or the praise of that which is against what I believe. I am not talking about closing my mind to opposing opinions, there is plenty of that out there. Inviting it into my home, openly, is another thing.

If it doesn't speak of hope, gratitude and love then consider what you are filling your brain with. I read plenty of mom style blogs that deal with the daily stuff, and it isn't all pretty, and I appreciate honesty. It lets the rest of us know, WE AREN'T PERFECT...JUST LIKE YOU!  What I am talking about is deeper than the truth that life is sometimes messy, and ugly. I'm trying to see where I compromise into the world's standards of what is okay and what isn't. Many people draw their own lines, based on past, their beliefs, who knows. I do not want to stand in judgement of someone that believes something different than I do, that isn't my job. I do need to protect my own heart, my own thoughts. I have to choose what I read or watch carefully.

Being Christ-like and Biblical standards are my main sources.
I am far from being where I need to be.

I am choosing to fix that.



Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Miracle on My Street

As mentioned, all of our fruit trees were trimmed(chopped) this last week. They all needed it, and I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip about how they look right now. I KNOW they will grow back with amazing results, I KNOW it's healthy for the trees...but they look sad and naked.

We were left with branches all over our yard. To give perspective, "our yard" portion of our shared 5 acres (with our landlords) is maybe 2/3 to 3/4 of an acre. Ten fruiting trees were trimmed, including 2 story tall cherry trees and a mulberry that hadn't been trimmed in years. In other words, it was quite large. Our fabulous tree trimmer friend was working against the sunset, so he worked fast and left the branches fallen around the trees. I spent at least an hour just arranging the apple tree limbs into manageable piles on Friday and called out to God. "I can't do this alone, Aaron is working too hard, Spencer is out of town, the burn pile is too large , I don't have anything to chop the fireplace burnable pieces apart from brush. I need help".

On Saturday I was just finishing up working on Bible study homework when a knock was heard from my front door. My landlord's (neighbor's) daughter was standing there.
"My youth group is practicing for our mission trip to Mexico coming up by doing community service projects, can we clean up your yard?"

Yes, yes you can.
Praise be to God who heard my cry for something so simple and basic.







Thursday, February 14, 2013

Boo! Boo! BOOOOOO!

235,000+ miles...and then one moment to this.
There was a hill, and a big old pick up ahead of me at a yeild sign. I don't know if he rolled back or I lurched forward, or both frankly, all I know is this happened in the blink of an eye and he drove off. I honestly think he doesn't know it happened. His trailer hitch hit my hood and, well, look at it.He drove off and onto the freeway.

I sat therefor a moment not sure what I should do.
There wasn't a scratch on his bumper, I looked right away. (Before I knew it was his hitch that hit me).
Bent hood, cracked and turned headlights. Could have been worse, SO VERY THANKFUL it wasn't.



Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Random Cuteness

My son's voice is changing. And his mustache is becoming more defined.
I knew these things would happen, siiiiigh, and it's all good.
But I do miss this little guy...


Monday, February 11, 2013

Chopped

We had to have our mulberry tree hacked this year. It was getting much too large.
I know it's good for the tree...I KNOW....but it still hurts me a bit to see all it's limbs chopped off. Apple tree and cherry trees are getting it Tuesday as well.

Being pruned is hard. But the consequences of "letting it go" are much worse.
And yes, I am not just talking about trees anymore.


Friday, February 8, 2013

A New View

For months I have needed new wiper blades for my little old Toyota, Magnito.
Yes, it has a name.
This little car also has over 235,000 miles on it, and still running, thank the Lord.

A friend is borrowing said car, so I purchased said windshield wipers. A storm is here and I didn't want her to have to go through what I do...

Wait...
While that is all good, I mean, I want her to be safe, and not fret while she drives my car...but why didn't I take the 5 minutes and $14 to fix this for myself before this?

Answer?
I don't know.

I could easily say it was money. It has been a tight budget lately.*
But that's lame, how much would an accident cost?

I could say it was time, or stress of putting them on...
but I walked in, he checked the blades (it's so old he had to check the clips) and then he installed them for me in less than 5 minutes.

I could say all sorts of things, but really, why didn't something for ME matter enough?

I have no explanation.
Mom's especially do this to themselves all the time.

I challenge you to do something you have put off...that's just for you. Not because we should be selfish. I think people are very selfish by nature. Do something you have put off that will benefit your health, your mental state, or your safety. *




* Okay, but money was an issue for awhile too. I do have to wait to make sure bills are paid, so don't go running out over spending your budget.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Slowly I Turn, Step by Step....

Apparently I have not been jogging recently. According to the My Fitness Pal app on my phone I am not jogging, I am walking briskly.

I beg to differ My Fitness Pal. Walking is a heel/toe motion in which one foot is always down, no bouncing or anything. Jogging has that momet when you are in the air and there is more motion.
This is walking, this is jogging, I'm jogging.

Except, there is no arguing with it. It says I am walking briskly solely based on my speed.
Because I am slow I am accused of doing less than.
Sad.

I am simply not built to run.
I am built to swim fast, but not run fast.

I remember in elementary school participating in the Presidential Fitness testing. I was running the whatever yard dash. I tried so hard to run fast. I remember putting all my effort into it, striving to go fast, and feeling like I was standing still. I felt like cement.

I will not let this little app get me down!
So I jog slow. That's right, SLOW...but at least I jog. That's why we call it slogging anyway.




Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Tuesday!

Thankful for so very much in my life...


1. My husband is home again.
2. Opportunities to pray for people, and
3. Help them with their boulder burdens.*
4. Thankful for great friends near and far.
5. Tacos. Been loving tacos lately. Even with all my allergies to foods that make tacos even better...I still love the ones I can eat.







* Some burdens we are meant to carry ourselves, like a backpack...our emotions, our general finances, etc.
Some burdens are boulders, and it takes several people to come along side you to help you move it, ie: divorce, cancer, death of a loved one, tragedy...
Thank you LouAnn for such a great graphic explanation.

Monday, February 4, 2013

A Moment of Silence

My husband is out of town.
My son has classes today.
I am alone in the house.
Some people welcome this like rain after a drought.
I do appreciate quiet.
I do appreciate a chance to do things I need to get done with out distraction.
But it's so quiet....




I am a balance of introvert and extrovert ...
I think my extrovert is showing up.
Seems like poor timing, I am bewildered by it myself.
Sometimes during big events with tons of people my introvert shows up.

siiiiigh.

Anyone want to go to lunch?