Thursday, March 29, 2012

Roller Coaster

Ever have a time in your life when it feels like you are riding a roller coaster? What? Everyday you say?
Hmmm.

As my daughter's are now out of the house, and I slowly watch as they clean out the room they once occupied, I plan. I plan for what that room will become.

As I watch my son create and grow and learn and change, I watch. I can not plan his future. I can guide, and teach, but only watch.

As I build my new business and learn new things, and have high moments and moments of dissappointment, I am the one growing, and planning.

As I listen to God, all plans may change anyway, but because I know this is always a possibility, I don't mind.
His plans are best anyway.

Friendships don't always survive growth.
Jobs don't always last (especially these days)
Even plans made today might be changed tomorrow.

But I will trust in my rock steady Lord.
And all will be well.
I am on the right path. Growing, stretching, learning to be a better me. Making hard choices, living with the consequences but ultimately getting to where I need to be.

When you feel like you are on a roller coaster, stop, pray and listen. Be still and KNOW that the Lord God is there for you, and will guide you.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

6am

I awoke to a ukelele softly playing on my cell phone. I hit snooze. In a flash it was playing again. I know people do this everyday, drag themselves out of bed while it's still dark to do the things that must get done. Before I put on my workout clothes I step on the scale. Down 3 pounds this week, 2 in the last 2 days. I have broken through the stale mate. I know I was building muscles. I know muscle weighs more than fat...but I need that scale to move. It has a far way to go. Get dressed, brush my teeth manually with my electric toothbrush so I don't wake Aaron up and I step out into the rest of the house. It's much colder out here, but not nearly as bad as last week when the arctic storms blew through. I drink my wonderful Ionix, and head out the door. Still dark.
The road that leads where I need to go is twisty. I concentrate, watching animals scamper off of it as the headlights make their way through the darkness.
Why am I up?
 Why even do this to myself?
The song on the CD has lyrics of breaking through tough times, God's provision, His strength.
"Okay, got it " , I whisper back.
I arrive, the first one, even before the instructor.
This day there are only 3 of us, but we work hard, we laugh, we tell stories. They, in their early 20's having grown up together tell tales they don't want their future children to do themselves. I laugh.
We breathe hard, our muscles threatening to give out, but we finish.

I finish.
I drive back towards home feeling accomplished.
Sure, I didn't solve any world problems, but I did something that truly needed to be done, even if it was hard and uncomfortable.

I plan to keep doing things that are hard and uncomfortable. How else will anything change?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Update, PROGRESS

Aaron has lost 30 pounds!! WOOHOO!
I have lost 35!
I am about to bust through a major number. A number I was stuck at for a couple years...I haven't been below this number in 12 years. I am looking forward to it.

In other news my dad is doing great, surgeon is happy, radiation is going well thus far. All good news.

Happy Wednesday to ya!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Thankful Ten Tuesday!

Super thankful...

1. Holy Spirit, showing up, being a part of my life.
2. Focus on what is important, perspective.
3. Blinders being lifted.
4. Radiation is going well for my Dad.
5. Tim's new lungs and his amazing progress all week with them.
6. Confidence.
7. New adventures, good friends.
8. Sandi's manicotti.
9. More importantly, Sandi's good lab work results!
10. Grace, every minute of everyday, and the ability to call out to God when I am crushed or confused as to what to do. I find peace, even in the  storms.


What are you thankful for?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Thursday Ten!

SO VERY THANKFUL!

1. I can still walk!
2. Peace in my home.
3. Fabulous supportive friends.
4. God inspired music.
5. Learning, stretching, growing.
6. Clean water.
7. That I am being given a chance to rebuild God's temple (body)
8. Financial blessings that will come.
9. The color red. Love it, and purple, and so many others!
10. Rest.


What are you thankful for today?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

JUICE TIME, giveaway opportunity!

My dear, wonderful friend over at My Crowded Kitchen is celebrating her new blog look by giving away a juicer! Fully Loaded! Check out that Stainless Steel! WOO!

If you've never been to the MCK blog you are in for a treat. I have sat in, cooked in, and laughed in that crowded kitchen, but more importantly I have eaten some of the best food I have ever tasted.

She shares wonderful recipes, including Gluten Free options, shares stories and funny moments from her life.

Head on over and try to win the juicer
. Tell her I sent you...:)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Thankful Ten Tuesday!

So very thankful!

1. My brother coming down to San Diego so I could come home.

2. My daughters helping out with Spencer and household things.

3. My husband sticking to Isagenix and dropping weight.

4. My friends in San Diego, it was so wonderful to get to see them.

5. My friends here at home, praying for us, and supporting my family while I was gone!

6. Grace. For when I messed up.

7. Worshiping full force. Aahhhhhhh.

8. The money that is going to show up to fix some financial things that happened while I was gone. I know God has us covered.

9. Thrift stores for smaller clothing...especially when I won't be that size long...

10. My sister's family's hospitality. It was a forced situation to have us all there, but she was gracious and did what it took to make it work. They all did.

What are you thankful for.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Booting It Up!

This morning I joined the "Boot Camp" class with some mostly 20-something year old ladies. I am not the oldest person in the room, and I am very proud of all these women! I thought I was doing okay with my slogging, and now I am laughing at myself! We worked hard and woke up some muscle groups that have been dormant for a long, long time. Oh yeah. I don't hurt, but the muscles feel rebellious right now.
Best part of the class? Pumping hard core Christian music, and prayer at the end while we stretch.

We hit it hard with cardio and all sorts of strength building (Hello core, how are ya today?). Then I came home and hit the treadmill for over a mile. No, not because I am crazy, but because I knew I would actually feel better if I did. And I was right. I could have gone farther but didn't want to push it too much. Tomorrow I am expecting a miracle in my muscles. You were expecting me say "to not be able to move" right? Nope, I am expecting miracles.

I am kicking obesity's butt. No messing around.
I refuse to look like this anymore! Or ever again. As I shrink I am getting rid of all the fatter clothes. No more going back. I know I can do this, I know I will succeed. 33 gone forever so far.

I am pumped!












If you want to know more about Isagenix leave a comment with a way for me to contact you and we will talk!

Friday, March 9, 2012

SUCCESS!

I am officially 33 pounds lighter than before.
Even though things were not perfect in San Diego. Even though I did not stay perfectly on track, Isagenix still worked. Because it is a lifestyle change, not just diet. Sometimes I wanted to just walk away and right into the kitchen and eat all the yumminess (and sometimes, I did) but I kept at it. I went on my walks with my dad, then stepped up the pace and went out without him. I tried to balance out the food with my shakes. Over all it totally worked. Yes, I could have lost more while I was there, but let's look at the facts:
My dad had cancer.
My dad needed major surgery.
While he was in the hospital (almost 3 weeks) I didn't have time in the schedule to really walk or work out.
My mom was exhausted and my sister was too stressed out and then she was gone, so I was the rock.
I used to be a full emotional eater...stuffing feelings down. Not so much this time.

God has graciously healed me of that. Did I do perfectly? NO!
Was I successful? YES!!

So that's my update.
I lost weight while going through something incredibly stressful and life changing.
And that's a very good thing indeed.

On the homefront my husband dropped at least 24 pounds. Not because I wasn't here to feed him...that would usually lead to fast food and pre-packaged stuff. Some church people even brought him meals! What wonderful friends!
He lost weight because he stuck to the Isagenix plan...even without me here! I am so proud of him. It makes my heart so happy. He chose it. He feels good, he looks good. It's wonderful.

Thank you to all praying for us and throwing support my way! It's nice to have cheerleaders.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

There's No Place Like Home

I made it back!
After scrambling ever so briefly to get my suitcase 7 pounds lighter I was off. My husband met me, after being forced to circle around even though I could see him...I know it's for everyone's safety, but sometimes it's really frustrating! I could see my bag and I could see him...and he was sent away before I could grab the bag and come out the door. But that's okay.
He helped me get the suitcases in the car and then held me and kissed me and it's like a steam release button went off right then, all sorts of stress and pressure just released from me. I felt relieved, I felt whole, I felt happy. We left before we were down hugging because of airport rules...and I almost cried in the car. Just being with Aaron and holding his hand. He also brought me flowers. What a sweetheart. We had dinner out before heading back to the house so we could just talk and be with each other a little longer.

My son grew about an inch while I was gone. He looks huge. His voice is lower too. Not the big voice change, just lower.

My daughter is moving out this weekend. She and one of her friends found an apartment to rent. She also looks fabulous.

I haven't seen my other daughter yet. :( Work and school have made it impossible. I am still missing her. I suppose it's something to get used to. Since they are adults now.

Both of my daughters were very helpful while I was gone. It's so nice to hear good things about your family. It's nice to know they will step up and sacrifice to help out.

I am back into the swing out things, trying to pay bills and tie up loose ends. Cleaning out my closet of what's too big, and Spencer's closet of what's too small.

I am thankful to be home.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

SundaySundaySunday

While I am really excited to go home tomorrow I will miss a few things about San Diego...

The warmth. My goodness I do believe I have acclimated to the weather already. When I go home I have a feeling I am going to freeze! Perhaps shivering burns more calories.

My family. We do all get a long, so it's nice to spend time with them. I miss my own core family more, but this was a nice experience. I am sad I will miss being able to help while my dad goes through radiation. It would have been nice to help relieve my sister from the daily driving and dealing with that. But that is simply not going to happen. It's time for me to return home. Thankfully friend have stepping in to help with that.

The food. Here is a two edged sword...the food, I will absolutely miss the wealth of good food available down here. We happen to be a family that loves seafood and sushi. I understand it's not for everyone. San Diego is loaded with fabulous choices and I have enjoyed it greatly! On the flip side, my family is known for baking. Cookies, bread pudding, cupcakes, my goodness it was difficult around here sometimes. I will not miss having to battle myself to just say no.

Friends.
I have an armload of friends down here, that I miss regularly...and now I will miss a bit more. They will remain a big part of my life of course, but it was really nice to be apart of some of their daily lives. This includes being present for a birth, and consequential to that birth, snuggling a newborn several days in the last week. I will miss her! (And her mama.)



Things I will not miss: The traffic. Sleeping in the living room (even though my bed was perfect and comfy). Sleeping alone. Not having control of my own schedule at all. Trying to gauge other's moods and schedules and trying to be helpful in the unknown. Sometimes I think I made a difference, and sometimes I just felt in the way. It was a juggling act. Having nearly zero privacy. Not because people were all up in my business, more because the house is only so big and there are extra people living here. Finding a place to simply make a phone call was sometimes difficult.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Let The Slogging Commence!

It's official. I am signed up for a 10K. Sure, it was supposed to be a 1/2 marathon, but then a whole mess of things changed, including , but not limited to, my being away from home for 6 weeks. Sure, I still walked while I was here, but it became very evident, and very quickly I need to add, that I was not ready for cement slogging. Cement has a way of reminding you of every single ounce you carry around with you. It was not a pleasant experience. I quickly scaled back and did fast walking instead. Training went out the window, and a simple goal of "stay active" replaced it.

Why the changes, other than pain? Mentally I was already dealing with the cancer that destroyed part of my father's back, and the original diagnosis, that included "life expectancy" rates. Seeing my father in so much pain was disturbing. Watching the whole thing play out felt like forever. I was missing my husband and kids terribly as well. I was missing out on an incredibly important physical connection, hugging and physical touch were missing from my daily life. God is my rock and my salvation, and I turned to Him for peace through the storm. I truly believe that's how I did so well, was able to communicate clearly with the hospital staff when something wasn't right and needed to be corrected. I was able to help my sister through the stress as well....ALL WHILE NOT STRESS EATING.
You read that right.
Sure, I wasn't perfect, I didn't stick to my plan 100%, but what I am doing is a lifestyle, not simply "a diet". I adapted to still enjoy where I was and who I was with. I still achieved good results too. I kept moving as well. I would walk with my dad as soon as he was able as a warm up and then kept going at a faster pace. Am I ready for this 10K? Nope, not yet.
But I will be.

I head home Monday (woohoo!) and I will hit my training hard to be ready by May.
I never though this health transformation could really happen. Isagenix really makes a huge difference, it makes everything easier.
I didn't know how bad I felt until I started feeling really good!!
I like feeling good.