Sunday, January 30, 2011

75 Years Young

I attended a very special birthday party for a dear friend that turned 75. Many wonderful people were there, including most of his kids. His wife gave a wonderful account of his life through the years, which did not include her until recently. They have been married for 8 years, but have a shared daughter who is 45. A too young woman made a hard choice to give up a baby for adoption, so that the child could have a better life. It was the right choice. That daughter grew up in a loving family. The young woman that gave her up went on to eventually marry and had more children. Things didn't work out perfectly, and things were hard and eventually she was a widow.
The adopted daughter's dad, years later as well, also lost his spouse.

The adoted daughter as an adult, perhaps around age 30, sought out her birth mom, found her, and several years later, her birth mom and her adoptive dad get married.

How crazy is that? How wonderful is that?
God works out some amazing things.

Person after person stood up today honoring this amazing man.
He has become a father figure for so many that never had a good one.
He has counseled, and taught, and helped, and sheparded many. His heart is huge, and his sense of humor keen. As a couple they help the homeless and reach out to those that are lonely.

His kids all spoke, and there were no dry eyes.
Again, this was not a charmed perfect life, just a life that always (even if it took awhile) came back to God.

It is an honor to know them, and I just wanted to share with you  that honorable people still exist, and that God works out the most interesting plans, even if they take 37 years(or more) in the making.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ten On Tuesday

I AM SO VERY THANKFUL!

1. For friendships without generational borders.
2. For sunshine. It is doing wonders for our household.
3. I am thankful for college courses starting up this week too.
4. I have a heart full of gratitude for what I have, even when I notice what I don't. Sometimes I may be in need, but I never forget(or try not too anyway) how much we have. Contentment is so soothing, healing, and peaceful.
5. I am thankful for people helping other people. I can't always help, I am glad I am not alone in the effort.
6. Art. I am an artist, I have to remind myself of that, I feel like saying , I WAS an artist. Art feels frivolous when you are just trying to survive and pay rent. Art for art's sake feels like a betrayal of loyalty for your time, your money...but truly, it can be a powerful experience that helps you express yourself in ways trapped deep within. It can speak to others of struggle or joy and connect people with each other. It is a powerful tool. 
 7. Leftovers.
8. Sales, coupons, and other ways of saving money.
9. Optimistic people that believe in me. Man, is that refreshing or what? In a world that tells me I am not good enough it's  nice to have someone rooting for you!
10. The opportunity to pray for people.

What are you thankful for?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Dark Letter, Bright Future

I wrote this to a friend recently. It was a dark moment for me. I was being mentally attacked. I am doing much better now, but I wanted you to see that this side exists, sometimes I fall into the pit as well. Honesty is important to me. We try and put on a smiling face and tell the world we are okay...or worse, that we don't need them, but really, we are broken, and we need each other.


Pray for me my dear friend.


I am having a rough time.

I feel lost, and a failure.

Like I haven't done whatever it is I am supposed to.



I look to the Lord

for direction

for strength

I feel the tug of the world,

telling me I am worth nothing

not good enough, pretty enough

not enough



I can feel the pull

to strive for impossible perfection



Trying to remember who loves me the most,

who created me

and remember that I am made in his image

beautifully made







I can feel that I have new plans ahead, but I have no idea what they are, where they are going, or how to get there.

It is very exciting and scary.

And at the same time, I feel too old to do anything new, I see youth running by, learning new things and accomplishing things I always wanted too, and I feel trampled.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ten On Tuesday, late edition.

I am SO THANKFUL.

1. For phone calls from friends.
2. Friends stopping their "to do" list to pray for us.
3. Hospitality.
4. Amazing travel stories.
5. Grand God given ideas for our future and using our gifts.
6. Musical Fruition (more on this soon)
7. Spencer's hugs. I hope he never outgrows giving them.
8. Fresh oranges.
9. Muffins at work (Thank you Brenda)
10. Sunshine, clean air, and moments alone.


What are you thankful for today??

Friday, January 14, 2011

Must. Type.Faster.

Although I have a part time job, things are tight and I am always looking for a little something more. A position opened up in our county system, it seemed perfect. Great hours, part time, but with some benefits, and close to home. I was very excited at the possibility.
There was an issue though. You had to turn in a certificate of a specific typing speed. The speed was just a tiny bit higher than I know I can type while copying.

You see, I am a self taught typist. I do not have my fingers in the right places, I know it. I can type without looking at the keyboard, and I can type really fast if I am creating something myself.
Now obviously, this sets up a bit of a problem. So I went online and did a free wpm test. I tried several times, and the test anxiety was terrible. I started doubting myself and my ability. It was very frustrating. I was within a couple words of the proper speed, but just couldn't get it quite fast enough.

I decided to brush up on the basics, and went through some lessons to try and improve.
Funny thing, I didn't improve at all, in fact, I declined in speed. It was a terrible feeling.
I was so frustrated. Aaron and I discussed the matter. I would have to pay to take the certificate test, in which I would panic, and even at my top speed so far, I would still be uner the required speed.

So I chose to set it all aside and not go for the job.

This isn't a story about how I over came the test anxiety, or still got the job.
Not at all.
This is a story about God's grace.

Today I was chatting with someone who knows people in that office. Morale is low, things are not healthy, and I would have walked right into it. God knew better and protected me.

I could add this event in my "I failed" catagory....or
I could add it to the "God knows better" list.

I choose the latter.

Take a moment and think of events in your life, and if necessary, flip over how you view them.
We will never know all the details while we are here on earth. We will never know how a 2 minute conversation with someone will possibly impact their life later down the road, but we matter, events matter, even when we think it's all stinky.

Right in this moment, I am thankful I can't speed type.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

NEED INPUT!

What do you look for in a blog?
What types of blogs do you read?
What makes you come back?

I am just curious. I know what I read and why I return to certain blogs...
please,tell me what you like.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Ten On Tuesday

I am back, time to get busy being thankful!

1. Dreams. Big, little, wacky, while alseep, or during the day...doesn't matter. There is freedom in dreaming, and great possibility.

2. Freedom. We live in a great country, that still has many freedoms, and while some push the limits and others want to take some away, we are still immensely blessed.

3. Those that pay for our freedom. What a beautiful sacrifice.

4. Funny TV shows on DVD.

5. Open communication. So much easier to deal with stuff.

6. Ugg like boots, down comforters, car heaters, good gloves and scarves. (Can you tell our high was 32 degrees yesterday?)

7. On line typing programs, so I can improve my skills.

8. Clearance items, and gift cards. They make a very nice combo!

9. Fabulous new knee high boots.

10. Commitment. 


What are you thankful for?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

A Bowl Full Of Dirt.

A request has been made for dirt cake for Sunday's spectacular 21st birthday celebration.
Well, I should say, I have one request for "Dirt Cake", which is really more of a pudding dessert, and one request for Farrell's "Zoo", which is something like 54 scoops of all the different flavors of ice cream, smothered with toppings and little plastic zoo animals. The girls recently found a photo from their 3rd birthday standing in front of said ZOO. Needless to say it is a yummy sort of thing, but not easily re-created in a home setting.

Back to dirt.
I have found a variety of recipes with all the basic same ingredients. We found a lovely blue plastic flower pot in which to make the creation, and quality gummy worms will be purchased soon.

It just makes me kinda laugh.

Welcome to full adulthood, here's your dirt and your worm.
I suppose it's better than trying to get the worm at the bottom of a bottle...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Thankful Wednesday

I have been absent from my thankful lists....but I am still so very thankful!

Miracles do happen.

1. After being biopsied and diagnosed with cancer my dear sweet friend had to have a mastectomy. Before, during and after the surgery we prayed for her healing. Afterwards, everything came back cancer free.

2. A friend's son was driving during slick winter conditions and ended up flipping his car over, and walked away.

3. Right when things seemed hard, we prayed for a financial break, and received unexpected money in the mail that very day.



Things do get better
4. People can mature and behave themselves.

5. Peace can be had in small spaces.

6. A really good shower can make a huge difference.

7. Hope. I am so thankful for hope.

Looking forward.
8.  It doesn't take a new year, or a Monday, to start something new, or make changes. I can make that choice any day of the year, any moment of that day, and move forward from there.

9. Although life often feels like 2 steps forward, one step back, it is still progressing forward.

10. Even I can make a difference. I may only have a dime to spare sometimes, but that one dime can change the life of someone else. i may only have an hour to volunteer somewhere, but that hour could change someone else's life for the better. Open up and live a generous life, even if it doesn't seem like you have much to give.

What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Blue Screen of Death

Is it possible to get the blue screen of death on one's brain?

I tend to think that it is possible, although, not a true blue screen, as it is usually temporary.

I don't know about your month of December, but mine was jammed packed, to the gills.

Visitors, overtime, huge benefit concerts, parties, gatherings,travelling, lots of food, laughter, celebration and fun.

My last house guest leaves today.
It was a joy having him with us, as were all my guests.

I will put away the christmas ornaments, lights and decor.
I will reassemble the house.
And then Sunday...
I will celebrate being a mom for 21 years.

21 years ago I gave birth to twins, changing forever my view of life, my selfish , self serving purposes and my heart....all for the better.

Life since then has not always been easy, or smooth, or the way I expected it to be.
I have learned to give up control, my will, my desires.
I have learned to trust in a loving God that knows better, and has a better way for me to live.

I am celebrating that we are all still alive and healthy, and that's truly something worth celebrating.