Friday, June 17, 2011

Fluff Blaster

I never set out to write a blog about fluff.
Not ever.

Sometimes life throws stuff at us, and it's hard to be completely honest and say
I HURT
or THIS STINKS
or...
I'D LIKE TO BE CURLED UP IN BED FOR THE NEXT WEEK.

Because you know, we're supposed to always be strong and joyful.
But I have my moments, or weeks. I struggle with my attitude, my circumstances, my relationships, and I try really hard to not whine. My life is not hard compared to those in third world countries, compared to those with terminal diseases, or caring for loved ones who are ill. I am blessed.

Currently I simply feel torn between other people's expectations of who I am, who I should be, and what I should be spending my time doing. Some of them are absolutely correct, some of them see potential where I do not, and others are simply projecting onto me some image of someone they think I am.

I am tired of trying to live up to everyone's expectations.
Someone is simply going to have to be disappointed in me.

3 comments:

Jeannette said...

real...yes

Lesli said...

Thanks for your honesty, Carol...I feel you. It's fine to be who you are today, hoping for a different you tomorrow. That's pretty much where I live.

Heather said...

Oh, I have so been feeling that way lately! It's extremely hard for me to remain positive when stuff like this hits, especially when I know that I'm not living up to someone else's expectations. I have to remind myself that it's okay.

You are always so positive and strong, and I love your honesty.