Thursday, January 20, 2011

Dark Letter, Bright Future

I wrote this to a friend recently. It was a dark moment for me. I was being mentally attacked. I am doing much better now, but I wanted you to see that this side exists, sometimes I fall into the pit as well. Honesty is important to me. We try and put on a smiling face and tell the world we are okay...or worse, that we don't need them, but really, we are broken, and we need each other.

Pray for me my dear friend.

I am having a rough time.

I feel lost, and a failure.

Like I haven't done whatever it is I am supposed to.

I look to the Lord

for direction

for strength

I feel the tug of the world,

telling me I am worth nothing

not good enough, pretty enough

not enough

I can feel the pull

to strive for impossible perfection

Trying to remember who loves me the most,

who created me

and remember that I am made in his image

beautifully made

I can feel that I have new plans ahead, but I have no idea what they are, where they are going, or how to get there.

It is very exciting and scary.

And at the same time, I feel too old to do anything new, I see youth running by, learning new things and accomplishing things I always wanted too, and I feel trampled.


Violet said...

Hi, you should check out my recent blogs I wrote. I wrote an entry very similar to your "dark letter, bright future". It feels good to know that we are all in this together in life, but we just have to keep pushing. Have Faith in God.

Thanks for sharing your story,

Karen said...

I fall into a slump every Jan/Feb. I call it the February blahs. thanks for posting. kare