Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"That Child"

Six and a half years ago a dear close friend of mine gave birth to a sweet, little blond baby boy. A very exciting time had by all.

Shortly there after I was with another very close friend, and we were going to visit Thany and said baby boy in the hospital. Spencer was only 2, too young to go in to visit,and I had to check if my daughters could come in as well. So while I went to check my very white, red headed friend, and her Irish blooded daughters, as well as his own sisters, watched Spencer in the family waiting area. They played with him, and enjoyed their time together.

An African American family walked by, coming to visit someone they knew. Saw my red headed friend with my very obviously not white child and sneered, turned and loudly commented to her companions , "That's what's wrong with white people taking care of black children, they don't know anything about being black"....And other comments that aren't necessary to repeat. I am bewildered at what she thought was "white play" verses "black play". Perhaps it was the beads on the wires? The toy truck? Perhaps a book being read about a trip to Grandmas, or the Alphabet?

I am white.
I am his BIOLOGICAL mother.
I have every right to raise that child.
And she has no right to verbally make an opinion known that racist about my son and my friend, but she did it, just the same.

One (meaning all y'all and me too) should be careful what we speak, or how we react, when we do not know for a fact certain things...

Fact is, even if he were not biologically mine, why stand in judgment of anyone loving and raising a child of any nationality, color,or condition? That child needs love and protection, nourishment and shelter, they need to feel safe and be taught about this world. When the time is right they will be taught their heritage. We are firstly HUMAN, the need to categorize beyond that...why? I have learned traditional dishes from the heritage of my ancestors, but I do not run around with a sense pride of that culture, not willing to interact with other cultures. Why should it be any different? Why is it racism if I do it, but not if they do? I am calling a spade a spade.

My good friend "Mrs. Doozleberry" is going through a not so smooth trans-racial adoption of a sweet as sugar baby boy. Please read her blog as she encountered a racism issue, thankfully silent this time.

Life is too short for this kind of nonsense.


Lori said...

Thanks for linking to me. I'm sorry that happened to you. Crazy. Just crazy.

MomOfDudes said...

My story is the reverse of yours but basically the same. Although I am totally white looking my grandma told our father and mother we had "Tainted Blood" because we are half Mexican.

I used to cry that I was not brown like my cousins, I hated that I was the blonde in a sea of brown hair/brown skinned relatives...

My hispanic family was always loving and accepting of us.

Missy Shell said...

Unfortunately, she does have the right to say that. The very laws that give us the freedom to speak our mind also grants her the right
to speak hers. You can't have one without the other. It's too bad that she is so narrow-minded though, and that she chose to verbalize it. It just makes her look like an idiot.

You're an amazing mother to a brilliant and wonderful boy.

Crayl said...

FINE...she has the "right" to say whatever she wants, this is America still after all...however....

Just because you CAN
Doesn't mean you SHOULD!

Jen said...

I work in S Africa among orphans. I see kids everyday who just need love and a home. So sorry you had to encounter such racism. A child needs love and home...color is a non-issue.

Thany said...

And nonsense it all is.