Well, the title might suggest that I bombed, horrifically, but with much fanfare, but actually, things went well! I was humbled by the graciousness of those I was leading. It was a good weekend.
A note about my friend, LouAnn...the surgery went well, but on the way home she had an allergic reaction to Lidicaine, it made her cough uncontrollably and nearly stopped her breathing. They obviously turned around and she was given a breathing treatment. Scary stuff. She was at retreat, but in pain. She played keyboard along with the tracks that she has for when she travels alone (without our band). She is not allowed to speak for 7 days. She wrote messages on a white board, it made it interesting. Her strength amazes me.
A few highlights:
I completely had a melt down, sobbed, moments before I had to go on stage. Those that have known me for a long time know...I am an actress, I have performed numerous times, numerous ways in numerous places. Being on stage wasn't the issue, this was different. Lou Ann , AKA Silent Louie, hugged me, and mouthed "Have Fun", which totally made me laugh in my present state of panic. My eye's were puffy, my face was red, but I stood in the promise that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. God met me there, in my panic, and calmed me, and when it was time for me to walk up there and sing, I was fine.
IBS. Yep. I get that from time to time. It showed up Saturday morning after breakfast. I was extremely careful with what I ate, but it happened anyway. Again, prayers said for me, it calmed down and wasn't a problem when I went to lead those women in worship.
Missed a note, or line or two...and heard all the women keep going. Singing to a track is very different to a live band, and I hadn't practiced with tracks, I practiced with the CD versions of songs. Lou Ann wrote many of the songs we sing, and most of these women have her CD's ...so they knew the music, they were singing the words not just from memorization, but from their hearts. It was truly beautiful.
My time on the mountain ended in confidence, and joy. I was asked to lead women into worship, that was accomplished. More importantly, one of the speakers had a word for me, and although I will not share what she said, it gave me great hope and set me free of some old stuff.
I will never be the same, and that's a good thing.