Monday, July 14, 2008

Thankfulness

Several years ago I was depressed. Well, I had PMDD and mentioned it and that I felt depressed and apparently the drug to treat either is the same. It is interesting however, that my Dr. immediately upon hearing the word handed me drugs, without diving further into things, without looking at my other symptoms, that aren't related. Just heard the word and started writing a script out...yep, that 6 minutes they allow with a patient in an HMO were well spent...but I digress. And wow, I digressed in record time!

I was depressed, and now on drugs to stop the depression, which made me feel, well they made me not feel. I had no lows, but I didn't have any highs either, everything was in the middle and just fine in my brain. It also killed my libido, and that was a really bad thing. I didn't like it one bit, but I also didn't like having PMS,to the power of ten, 2-3 weeks out of a month. I was trapped.

So fast forward a couple years and we had moved to a new state, had no insurance and I was running out of pills. I found a medical office and sought help. The person who saw me (a P.A. I believe) handed me enough samples of a new drug to try instead for the next 6 weeks or so. Supposedly my libido would return but not the other stuff. The first amount made me manic and jittery, it took awhile before finding a balance. When I was running out of samples she handed me a prescription, that's when I found out this new stuff costs over $150 a month, instead of the $5 or so for my generic old drug. I called the Dr. office, they wouldn't speak to me,I had to wait for a return call. When they finally did call they offered no help, they wouldn't change the prescription to help me wean off or go back to the other medicine. Every label on the pills said "Do Not Stop Suddenly Or Without Supervision of Medical Professionals". I carefully portioned out what I had left to wean myself off, with lower doses over as many days as I could.

Meanwhile I was approached by my husband's boss...a Worship Pastor at our current church.
DC: "I couldn't sleep last night"
me: "I'm sorry, everything alright?"
DC: "The Lord kept telling me something, for you"

He had not been told anything about my depression or what was going on with the meds.

me: " What did He tell you?"
DC: " You are going to be set free from depression"

He told me to stop three times each day and thank God for three things for the next 30 days. He said even if I pray for the same three things every time at first that is okay, to just keep trying.

So I did.
And at first it was hard, and I did repeat some things. But then I felt the release, I felt weight being lifted off of me, physically, emotionally. I dug deeper and prayed thankfulness for more things, and was set free...

and I never had any problems that were warned against going off my meds cold turkey.*

Thankfulness is deeply important to me.
I am going to start linking my "Ten on Tuesday" lists...so that you can share too what you are thankful for.


To quote VeggieTales: "A thankful heart is a happy heart, I'm glad for what I have, that's an easy way to start"

Please join me tomorrow and tell me what you are thankful for...it is H week. I will finish out the alphabet and circle back around to H and then move on to other themes.

I have been free from depression a couple years now, and my life is anything but peaceful and problem free, but God is good.

* I am not a medical professional, I am not suggesting anyone go off their medication without supervision from their own Doctor.

5 comments:

Michelle said...

I am happy beyond words to read this! God is SO good!!!!

Dena said...

This blessed me so much. How do I email you?

Red Riding Hood said...

Wow

Heather said...

That's just awesome. And I'm glad I'm not the only one that quotes veggie tales. :-)

Jenello said...

eww u dont have a libido.....im damaged
and you lied im mad